realism

If you really want to love me
well then do it.

Okkervil River - Maine Island Lovers [2003]


It is liberating to defy the norm and be my own.  I will not compete.  Nor will I make un-due efforts towards things that I don't trufully believe in.  I will wait my time and when my time comes, I Will Be There Smiling.

All these times where I have followed other people's opinions about what is best to do: was it best to do?  Or could I have found something truer to myself?  Could I have bided time, and waited and waited and waited, until I was drawn to an answer?  Could I have relished being slow, slow as I have always been in my life (since I was born), and been content at being so? 

If only I know the meaning of it does not matter back then, and back weeks ago, everything could have been so much more realistic.